As I mentioned in my blog a few posts down, it is a start of a new academic year and for many people, this signals new beginnings. I, as I may or may not have already mentioned, have recently graduated from the University of Southampton. The three years I spent there were, without hesitation, the most amazing, the most eye-opening, the most rewarding and yes probably at times the most challenging, years of my whole life. An experience that has undoubtedly changed my life forever.
Three years ago (almost to this day in fact), I was sitting in my room, a quivering wreck of anxiety, wishing that I had a time machine that could stop the clock ticking away to the day I had to move to university. The day I had to move out of the comfort of my lovely home and into scary halls of residence with people I had never met (and of course I assumed I wouldn’t like) and into a world I felt I wasn’t ready to move into. Well, of course this wasn’t true. So to anyone starting university this month (or just wants to have a general read anyway), I have concocted ten things to hopefully help ease your nerves and kick start you into university life.
1) Smile at all times. Everyone, as I found out almost the minute I pulled into the car park, is in the same boat. Everyone is nervous (even if they later say that they weren’t). No one knows each other and everyone wants to get to know you. Especially if you smile and look friendly and inviting. So whatever you are feeling, remember everyone probably feels the same (and some probably feel even worse).
2) Try and get on with your flatmates. This partially links on from my point above. I do believe that even three years on, it is up mostly important to at least try and get on with the people you are living with, especially for the first few weeks. Whether you are in halls of residence or a private rented house (or whatever other accommodation options there are now) and even if your newly acquainted flat mates look, sound or act like one of the bizaarest people on the planet, try and make an effort for the first week at least. You will find that having a foundation of friends that you live with will be a huge comfort in the first few weeks of living away from home. Once lectures start, you will meet new people on your course and you may decide that they are far more similar to yourself and chose to spend the majority of your time with them and that’s fine. Or, in most cases (especially mine) the friends you meet in halls could become the best friends you make at uni and end up shaping your entire university experience - so much so that you choose to live with the following year (and the year after that and probably again once you've). Try it, you just never know.
3) Don’t go home that first weekend No matter how home sick you are or how much you are longing to see your boyfriend/girlfriend/parents/siblings/pets, make sure you try and stick out at least your first weekend away. Even if nothing particularly exciting appears to be going on, it is important to try and not get into the routine of heading home every weekend. The people who tended to do this were probably the ones that struggled to form the firmest of friendships. Of course, it is fine to go home every now and then and as regularly as you please, but try and kick the habit of thinking you need to go home every single solitary early on. You will feel much better once you have proved to yourself you can do it.
4) Make the most of freshers week By attending everything you can. Pub crawls, meet and greet drinks, foam parties, the freshers fair, the freshers ball (although personally I didn’t go to mine, so I am not one to talk). By doing this, you are maximising both the opportunity to make lots of friends as well as the opportunities to bond with the ones you have already met. Even if drinking and crawling back at the early hours of the morning isn’t your scene, try and put yourself forward and join in, just for that first week only. If you don’t enjoy it, you don’t have to do it again.
5) Don’t panic about not being able to cook This, funnily enough, was top of the ‘panic’ list for several of the friends I met at uni. It was however (and the people who know me well enough may have a good laugh at this) not one of mine. I am a self-confessed, terrible cook (terrible in the sense that before I moved to uni, I had never really attempted to cook anything other than beans on toast) and I sort of had an unwritten, amorphous plan to plough my way through on this exact meal (or maybe the odd pasta/pesto dish). This is fine. Once again, most people are in the same boat and you can club together in ‘lets just shove a pizza in the oven’ for the first year especially (your cooking skills will develop in the coming years – don’t worry). You will, however, I am not going to lie, come across the odd gourmet chef that think they are Gordon Ramsey. The less said about this the better. Just laugh.
6) Don’t overload on kitchen utensils Obviously, bring the essential items such as plates, bowls, glasses (lots of these – they have a habit of going walkabouts ) and cutlery (although I do believe I casually forgot this ‘essential item’) but don’t get into a fluster about making sure you have things such as kettles and toasters. More times than not, most the other people in your flat will bring them and you will end up with loads and have to store them in your room. If the worst comes to the worst and you end up without something, you can always pop into town and buy it. A radio or an ipod docking station can also be useful though - both for your room and the kitchen whilst you’re cooking.
7) Bring a doorstop Someone told me this little gem of advice during those anxiety filled weeks leading up to the ‘big move’. Most halls of residence have fire doors which slam shut if not propped open (in case of the instance of a fire, believe it or not).This can cause havoc when trying to make yourself friendly and inviting to new flatmates. So, if you have time, pop along (or alternatively order on the internet) to your nearest home store (John Lewis, Tesco Direct, Homebase) and buy a door stop. If you don’t have the time or the money then you can just ve creative and use a wooden hanger (lots of people did this) or even a really heavy book. If you want to be super-duper creative then carve a small plank of wood, thin enough to slide under a door. Sorted.
8) Take lots of pictures with you. If you are in halls of residence, then most of the rooms have huge noticeboards or space where you can put pictures of all your family and friends back home. It is nice and comforting to try and make your room as homely as possible. Other accessories such as cushions and posters are also a good idea. I would suggest candles (if you are a girl) but most halls of residence and student housing have rules against this. The reason is pretty self-explanatory I guess.
9) Bring a not-in-use school uniform. Without sounding weird, sleazy or whatever else this statement may spring to mind, this is really handy to have with you. Whether you have one in freshers week or at another point in the year, all universities tend to have a school disco at some point and it is great not to have the added stress of nipping to Primark and buying a cheap shirt/tie/skirt monstrosity when almost everyone will have a spare school uniform lying around at home. Saves money, time and hassle all at the same time.
10) Join a society – This one is fairly hypocritical of me as I never joined a society in the entire three years I was there (although, I did play in the English netball team from year 2 onwards), I do believe it is very useful to try and join at least one sort of society in your first term. Even if you don’t stick it out for the rest of the year, it is yet another way to meet new people and have some great experiences. They also do great socials!
10) Join a society – This one is fairly hypocritical of me as I never joined a society in the entire three years I was there (although, I did play in the English netball team from year 2 onwards), I do believe it is very useful to try and join at least one sort of society in your first term. Even if you don’t stick it out for the rest of the year, it is yet another way to meet new people and have some great experiences. They also do great socials!
11) Have fun! Last but not least, this is by far the most important one! University will almost certainly be some of the best years of your life in which you will make lifelong, amazing friends. So make the most of it. The time really does fly by.
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